Calabrian stuffed artichokes

A story with an angry god & a great recipe

Zeus was an impatient, quick-tempered, unjust two-timing God. Who, and it pains me to say this, had excellent taste in vegetables. Or rather flowers — because that’s what artichokes really are.

*The following has been adapted and elaborated (for fun) as the origin of the artichoke.

In the heart of the Aegean Sea lay the island of Kinaros, where rocky cliffs gave way to teal blue water. Nestled into the stone, sheltered from the wind, stood a humble home, its walls often filled with laughter. But on this day, it stood empty and cold as Cynara’s mother fled down the path, searching desperately for her daughter.

Zeus had many habits, announcing himself was not one of them. But as Cynara watched him from the cliffs, she knew he was no ordinary man. His boat rest upon the sea, untethered and unmoving as if commanded by his very presence. The afternoon was too warm, and the sun scorched her tanned skin. So when the wind lifted his call to her ear, all she felt was relief. She continued forward until her foot met air, and she fell from the cliffs. But she didn’t feel fear because meeting the water meant she’d finally feel cool.

He whispered that her green eyes, flecked with amethyst, were a sign she was destined for more than a mortal life. Prickly in nature, she didn’t care for his sweet words. But he was persistent — cunning, returning again and again. And each time he’d tell her a secret about the island she loved so much. Hidden coves, forgotten paths, stories woven into the stone itself.

Slowly, curiosity softened her resistance.

Finally, one evening as the sun bled into a deep purple, he said that same color would suit her better than homespun linen, and she smiled like a fool. When he asked if she would ascend with him, she agreed.

On Mount Olympus, Zeus turned her into a goddess. But instead of glee, all she could feel was disappointment, an endless road of indulgence. A life with no seasons or end. And what was the point of that? When her feet echoed down the hallways, which were empty because he had returned to his wife, a lonliness like she’d never felt clutched at her heart. When she slept, she dreamed of the craggy stones, rugged plants, and the warmth of her home. But it only made her feel worse.

And so she left.

Cynara found the small home nestled into the stony cliffs, the same as she’d left it, but this time marked with sadness. Her mother wept when she saw what her daughter had become, but embraced her the same. They shared stories, and eventually their home began to fill with laughter once more.

But soon the calm lapping of the waves below quieted, and the very island itself trembled in fear. It moved from the stone into Cynara as lightning struck, followed too closely by thunder. And a storm like none she’d ever seen before descended upon the island — Zeus’ wrath.

He called her ungrateful and cast her down, turning her into a plant rooted in the very island she loved. But he left her mother untouched, so she could watch over and tend to her daughter. And so Cynara remained — transformed into a plant with the green and purple from her eyes. Today, we call her the artichoke, beautiful but with prickly thorns and an undeniably tender heart.

For a very fun rabbit hole on artichokes, check out this post.

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How to clean artichokes

If you can find artichokes with the stems on, you’re in luck. Buy them but keep the stems on. Artichokes are flowers, so should be treated as such. When you get home, cut off about 1/4 inch off the end of the stems and stick them in water immediately.

To clean and prep artichokes, always make sure you have a large bowl of lemon water nearby. Cut off the stems about 1/4 inch from the bottom of the artichoke bulb. The end should be flat so it can stand upright in the pot. Keep the bulb in the water for now.